E. E. Cummings
little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower
who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly
i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don't be afraid
look the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,
put up your little arms
and i'll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy
then when you're quite dressed
you'll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they'll stare!
oh but you'll be very proud
and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we'll dance and sing
"Noel Noel"
I think so
Will you ever kiss the last person you kissed again?
haha, with my track record, probably.
Are you an obsessive hand washer?
nope
Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse?
female
Do you miss anyone?
yep
You've locked yourself outside and no one will be home for a few hours, you?
head to one of my aunts' houses or go to a movie or something.
In the past 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
the whole b-cliff gang
Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you’re at in life now?
in most ways, I'm pretty on track.
Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment?
not right this second
Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
yep
Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Nope-- only been on the beach once, and it was raining :(
Last place you fell asleep other than your bed and with who?
Chris Novak's guest room, and with Emma haha
What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
Darren is so wasted
Is anyone else in the room with you?
nope
Ever been kissed under fireworks and with who?
nope
Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked?
mm. Spontaneously.
Are your nails painted?
nope
What are you excited about?
Christmas
What are you not excited about?
working over break
Did you have to get over someone this summer?
It'ss kind of an ever present process, but I did try harder than usual
Do you know anyone who has the same last name as you, that you aren't related to?
no, actually
Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
yep
If you have a laptop, is it always plugged in?
yes and no-- charger's been broken for a while.
Did the person who hurt you the most in 2009 ever apologize?
yes.
If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first?
a trip to Europe.
Have you ever streaked?
no
Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
1th grade history teacher/12 grade government teacher.
What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
...I've never been grounded, haha.
What did you last cry over?
Umm. I don't even remember-- it's been a while
Ever cried so much you threw up?
ew, no
If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted?
no way, he's taken
What were you doing at 2AM this morning?
sleeping off my drank from the b-cliff party
Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years?
Most definitely.
How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2009?
three, if we're talking romantic feelings.
Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?
true story.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
showering.
When was the last time something bothered you?
yesterday
It's not like lots hasn't happened this semester. I turned 21, was managing editor of the bv, I went on a couple dates, made some bad choices, had so much fun. I decided for sure that I'm studying in France next fall. I have an interview tomorrow at the Buffalo News for a summer reporting internship. I probably failed my French final Friday, but I think it's okay. Because instead of studying, I was at a bar with friends, sending the semester out in style. I was on the receiving end of an apology that meant more to me than I can say.
I love Christmas. I love what it does to people. And although I hate hate hate endings, I like what they do to people, too. I like that when it comes down to it, people want to share what's in their hearts. We want to let others exactly what they mean to us. Even if it's not what we want to hear, it still means the world.
I don't know if I'll write again before Christmas-- probably just post a few poems I've been working on for my poetry class. So: Merry Christmas, everyone. Have a wonderful holiday.
"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.
"It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone?"
Running on two energy ddrinks, a 5-hour energy shot and 45 minutes of sleep. Still have bv, two classes and a Timmy Ho's shift to get through, but then glorious glorious weekend of happy hour and going out and a date on Saturday and Christmas is almost here and BOOM last week of classes.
I am a procrastinating GOD/the biggest idiot I know. Walking around all day today in this wonderfully fierce wind in a haze haze haze of red ink and french verbs and out-of-control hair and sleepy thoughts.
:)
- Mood:delirious
Robert Pinsky
When I had no roof I made
Audacity my roof. When I had
No supper my eyes dined.
When I had no eyes I listened.
When I had no ears I thought.
When I had no thought I waited.
When I had no father I made
Care my father. When I had
No mother I embraced order.
When I had no friend I made
Quiet my friend. When I had no
Enemy I opposed my body.
When I had no temple I made
My voice my temple. I have
No priest, my tongue is my choir.
When I have no means fortune
Is my means. When I have
Nothing, death will be my fortune.
Need is my tactic, detachment
Is my strategy. When I had
No lover I courted my sleep.
- Mood:quiet
5 Things You Can Grab From Where You're Sitting
1. Bread
2. Blankets
3. phone
4. Glass of water
5. camera
5 Things That Terrify You
1. Never falling in love
2. Losing the people closest to me
3. clowns
4. Being mediocre
5. mass murderers
Shuffle: What Are the First 5 Songs to Come Up?
1. "Me and Bobby McGee"~ Janis Joplin
2. "Mrs. Robinson"~ Simon and Garfunkel
3. "Great Indoors”~ John Mayer
4. "1492"~ Counting Crows
5. "We Believe"~ Red Hot Chili Peppers
5 Things to Put in a Trap if You Wanted to Catch Yourself
1. Celery and carrots with bleu cleese
2. A puppy/ kitten/ any baby animal
3. Johnny Depp
4. A roast beef sub
5. an Arabian appaloosa mare
Last Things You Did: Ate/Drank/Listened To/Watched/Bought
1. Bread
2. Water
3. Chili Peppers
4. Much too much of America’s Next Top Model last night.
5. My bv secret santa present
Favorite Movies of All Time
1. Bridget Jones’ Diary
2. V for Vendetta
3. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
4. Love Actually
5. Sense and Sensibility
Best TV Shows
1. House
2. The Daily Show
3. How I Met Your Mother
4. Family Guy
5. Boy Meets World
What You're Wearing Right Now
1. Areo Hoodie
2. pink and purple tank top
3. Jeans
4. Underclothes
5. Socks
Random Things Starting With the Same Letter as Your Name
1. Karma
2. kites
3. kangaroos
4. kisses
5. Kellee (my little sister)
Objects in Your Room You'd Use to Defend Yourself
1. Scissors
2. keys
3. Jack knife (thanks, dad)
4. lamp
5. My limbs
5 Things You're Addicted To
1. facebook
2. music
3. checking my e-mail
4. procrastinating
5. Arizona Herbal Tonics
5 Things You Want Right Now
1. A puppy
2. My French paper to be written
3. To exchange secret santa presents at the bv and with the townhouse
4. To hang out with Carli
5. My cat
5 Things That Remind You of Your Best/Closest Friend
1. Hugh Grant
2. Bridget Jones’ Diary
3. The Doors
4. Oddly humorous cards
5. Anything biology related
5 Things You Love That Everyone Else Seems To Hate
1. Uncooked pasta
2. Cheap beer
3. Learning new languages
4. Musicals. Any and all.
5. France/the French
5 Things You Hate That Everyone Else Seems To Love
1.Bailey’s
2. chocolate
3. The Notebook
4. Fawning over expensive cars
5. Cake
I procrastinated again, in grand style. I now have to write a 6-page paper in French about journalism's role in the French Revolution, as well as make a 10-minute presentation about the French city of Orleans and work six hours at Tim Horton's, in the next 36 hours. I'm such an idiot, but I think I'll be okay once I actually get started.
It's raining. I like it.
I love love LOVE the Christmas season. And everything about Bonaventure and my friends and my family makes me so happy.
Life is good. Gotta remind myself of that every now and then.
- Mood:
tired
Every time it rains I listen to the sky
And wonder what's so great about sunshine
Everybody lives and everybody dies
And no one's gonna love you like I do
When it was getting dark
I didn't need a match
I never needed light to see you
You thought I disappeared
But I was always here
I could never get that far from you
Though I misunderstand
And been misunderstood
So love me 'cause you can
And not because you should
Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive
Take it as it comes
And take me as I am
I never was a good imposter
But I know how to dream
And don't know where I stand
I'm willing to admit I try too hard
Stop playing with my heart
I'm waiting by the phone
Afraid to be myself
Afraid to be alone
Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive
And every time it rains
I'm gonna hide myself inside
I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive
Also: talked to Danza. When I asked what as wrong Friday, was told I apparently can't take a joke. Good talk. Glad I worry about him.
- Mood:Fucking annoyed with myself
Emma's post has inspired me to get my swirling thoughts down on paper, which I haven't done is a long, long time. I'm just gonna write whatever pops into my head.
First of all, this semester has completely and utterly flown by for me. I always feel like that, but now more than ever. only two more weeks of the bv, two more weeks of being managing editor. It's insane.I'm doing pretty well in all of my classes-- not wonderful, but okay. I'll probably have a couple a's and b's for spanish and french. Sometimes it amazes me to think of what I could do academically with no bv. I would have a damn 4.0 no question. Ruthie amazes me-- she did both.
I love books. Stopping at Barnes and Noble the other day with the Arm was the best part of the day. I am going to write a post about how much I adore books and pages and titles and reading some other time.
( boys )
So ready for thanksgiving break. In a good way. But still, a week off campus will do me good.
- Mood:
hopeful
STEP ONE:
Spell your name with songs.
Killing the Blues (Robert Plant and Alison Krauss)
Romeo and Juliet (The Killers)
I Want You (Bob Dylan)
Shine on You Crazy Diamond (Pink Floyd)
Time and Time Again (Counting Crows)
You and I (Ingrid Michaelson)
STEP TWO:
– Name: Kristy Jo Kibler
– Birth date: November 7
– Nickname: KK, Kibs
– Eye Color: dark blue
– Hair Color: blondish
– Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
but the sooner we are,
the sooner the fun will begin.
So get out your fake eyelashes,
and fake IDs,
and real disasters ensue.
it's cool to take these chances.
It's cool to fake romances
and grow up fast.
( Spring 2010 )
That's 17 credits, plus editor in chief at the bv, plus working at Timmy's, plus enjoying my weekends.... it's gonna be interesting.
Side note: I talked to the study abroad lady the other day. France is almost definitely in my future. But she also had another suggestion: Morocco. It's half the price of France, and since it used to be a French colony that's still a main language there and the language of choice in universities.
So. I could go to Morocco and take an Arabic language class and several upper level French courses, which would allow me to get my double major. Then I would return to Bona's for my final semester and take Arabic 202 to wrap up my French major requirements. The only thing is, I have to figure this out now. I would have to ditch Spanish (which I detest) and throw myself back ino Arabic. It would mean individual tutoring sessions with Anouar to catch myself back up, and it would mean a ton of work in the spring.
I could do it. The entire idea is exciting and intriguing to me, as well as scary. Being away from Bona's is a sad thought. But Morocco? If I'm looking for a challenge, here it is.
This is where I decide whether I'm all talk about travel. How much do I actually want to push myself? Can I handle being not only away from home for 5 months, but being in an Arabic country with absolutely no cultural ties, not one comfort of familiarity?
I have to decide.
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